All the times I gave love advice while being SUPER SINGLE...

I’ve always been the go-to friend when it comes to relationship dilemmas. From decoding confusing texts to helping someone process a breakup, somehow I’ve ended up being everyone’s unofficial emotional support hotline. And the irony? I’ve been single the entire time.

But not the “I hate love” kind of single but more like the “I’m not actively looking, but I know what I deserve” kind. I’ve seen enough, heard enough, and listened to so many late-night rants that I could probably write a handbook titled “Love Problems 101: What They Said vs What They Meant.”

It started gradually. One friend needed help writing a message to clear the air with her ex. Another wanted to know if it was too soon to call after a fight. Someone else was overthinking whether a dry “k” text was a red flag. I wasn’t just giving opinions, I was offering perspective. I’d ask questions they hadn’t thought of. Help them see things from the other person’s point of view. Calm them down when they were spiralling.

I once helped a friend decide whether to stay in a long-distance relationship. We sat in a café, sipping chai, as she listed out everything on her mind- the effort, the lack of communication, the emotional drain. I didn’t tell her what to do. I just listened, then asked, “Does this relationship give you peace or anxiety?” She paused for a long time. That one question made things clearer than any advice ever could.

But not every situation was that gentle. Once, I told a friend, “He clearly doesn’t care the way you do. If he did, you wouldn’t be feeling this confused all the time.” It came out so direct, even I surprised myself. She stared at me like I’d just slapped her with truth. I hadn’t meant to sound cold, I was just trying to make it make sense. But sometimes, when you see the situation clearly and say it out loud, it lands harsh. And I’ve learned that logic, no matter how accurate, doesn’t always feel kind.

Still, I think deep down, people appreciate the honesty. Sugar-coating things might feel safe, but it rarely helps anyone move on.

And it wasn’t just about breakups or drama. I celebrated the good stuff too. When someone found someone kind, thoughtful, and respectful, I was the one hyping them up, reminding them not to self-sabotage. I wasn't playing Cupid, I was more like that one friend who reminds you of your worth when you forget.

But of course, someone eventually pointed out the elephant in the room. “Wait, how do you give such good advice when you’re not even in a relationship?”

Fair question.

I thought about it. And here’s what I realised: you don’t need to be in a relationship to understand people. In fact, being outside of it lets you see things with a little more clarity. You’re not emotionally entangled. You’re not stuck in loops of hope and doubt. You just… listen. And when you truly listen, you learn a lot about patterns, about honesty, and about how often people ignore their own instincts.

What I learnt: You don’t need to be in love to understand love. And just because you’re single doesn’t mean your advice lacks value. Sometimes, being the observer teaches you just as much as being the participant. I may not have a partner, but I have perspective  and for now, that’s more than enough.


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